About

The Author

“Author”. That’s one among many words and phrases that, when I say it about myself, feels just so incredibly wrong and arrogant or self-aggrandising. Other examples are: successful, intelligent, talented and “not a complete waste of space”.

When I say “author”, quite a specific image is conjured in my mind – that of a candlelit room lined with bookshelves buckling under the weight of an assortment of works delving into a multitude of topics ranging from scientific, religious and philisophical, all the way along to epic novels, sheet music and poetry. In the midst of this mini-Babel sits the author, hunched over their desk with their quill and ever-draining inkwell, furiously scribing on a piece of curling parchment. The resulting writings of such authors would become immortalised, held with high regard in the global community as a pioneering piece of work that holds true regardless of any test and resonating with countless generations.

I, on the other hand, liken myself to being closer along the evolutionary timeline to that of a chimp than a human, hunched over my keyboard and furiously pounding the keys in the hopes that something vaguely coherent emerges on the screen that is being met by my vacant gaze, all fuelled by my constant sense of bewilderment and indignation.

So, welcome. I hope you enjoy reading an assortment of posts that, by and large, plumb new depths of asininity and showcase an excessive use of profanity in the name of some objective that is a mystery, even to myself.